A Well Kept Man

With Alli in the United States, I have resorted to some pretty desperate measures to make sure she is behaving herself. First, I have spies planted all over the Minneapolis-St Paul Metro area with explicit instructions to ensure she does not consume American food while in town. She is only allowed to have pork products, Nutella, and Coca-Cola without ice. Second, I have arranged for her to have the smallest rental car available in America (like a Hyundai or Kia or something) as not to get used to such comfy and spacious automobiles. Third, I will be calling her at random times (scheduled by her, so not really random) to make sure she knows the latest in international fashion trends, and if she isn't there then I will continue calling until she is home (unless I fall asleep before I reach her). Fourth, I have instructed the conference organizers to have a mandatory one hour lunch break where instead of speaking English, everyone is forced to speak in either French, German, Italian, Spanish, or Dutch. I have no doubts this will aid her adjustment back to life in Switzerland, as I wouldn't want her to get to winsome for the States and decide to cut my vacation (I mean sabbatical) short.