A Well Kept Man

Well, they fired up the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at CERN yesterday and as far as I can tell, I didn't wake up with any superhuman powers or extra appendages (my brother sent me this as a joke in an email, so I thought I would pass it on). Although to be honest, we slept in the bombshelter in the basement last night just to be safe. I believe that the real experiments won't behappening until late October so it is still quite possible that everyone will be getting Christmaspresents from me with that "special radioactive flavoring." For those that have no clue what I am talking about, we live about 45 minutes from the World's Biggest Science Experiment on the Swiss/French border. They are trying to find the Higgs Boson which in layman's terms is really, really, really confusing. (If you ask me, they should all just admit that God is a super-genius; As for answering questions such as how the Universe works, where life comes from, etc....they'll just have to wait until St. Peter lets them in for dinner.) I barely understand what is going on and I spent the better part of a semester trying to understand this stuff in college (my professor of course thinks I was more interested in understanding how I could listen to him with my eyes closed with slobber dribbling on my textbook). Sure I wound up with a B- in the class, but I can tell you that all of this advanced physics stuff is really best left to those with lots of letters after their names or for eccentric individuals who don't remember to wear socks because they are busy theorizing about the constraints of time, parallel universes (What is the plural for universe? universi?), and grand unified field theories (I'm still waiting for this one to be proven so I can go back and get some of my grades changed from B's to A's in college...it would be nice to finally be recognized for being ahead of my time...ha!). Sorry if I just caused your brain to explode, I promise I won't talk about physics anymore.