A Well Kept Man

After some careful thought and consideration, it appears that I need to get back on the blogging wagon. I suppose now that things are quite settled in Colorado, I really have no excuse. I imagine the blogging experiences won't come nearly as frequently as they did in Switzerland, but I shall try my best to bring you some of the more enjoyable ones.

The Swiss experiment is now over, after 10 months of getting the opportunity to live in an absolutely gorgeous place we are headed back to America (by the time you read this, we will already be back). We both decided that we will miss our evening walks down to the lake the most, followed closely by skiing in the Alps and the chocolate. The high cost of living conversely will not be missed, nor will the inability to communicate with the locals...

As the days in Switzerland became numbered, we decided to basically sit back and relax while savoring the last few days we had in our foreign home. We ventured to Morges for their annual tulip festival, we had dinner with our friends Tom and Sarah (Indian food...yummy!), and dessert with our other friends Jennifer and Jeff (but not on the same night, that would have been crazy!). We even had time to go out for a $90 per plate three course dinner (we decided our wallets needed to remember Switzerland as well).

Lausanne was host for the time trials of the Tour de Romandie (basically our geographic area's version of the Tour de France) so we checked that out one afternoon/evening. But our favorite way to remember our time here was to take our nightly walks down along the lake...très romantique!

My cousin Joel and I are the same age (well, within a year anyway...but we grew up together and manage to cross paths a few times a year so we always try to make interesting stories), which makes for fun times as we are pretty much at the same place in life (except for the whole being married thing, otherwise, two peas in a pod). Our first day together was spent heading up to the village of Grandson to see a castle. Inside the castle were various period artifacts such as armor, weapons, furniture, stag's heads, tapestries, and other chateau stuff that seems to blur in my mind now as I've been in so many of them I've lost count. The castle did however have some unique treasures in the basement...classic cars (classic, old, same difference). The was an Austin Limousine belonging to Sir Winston Churchill, a 1906 Ford Type N, and even a car once owned by Greta Garbo (I guess she was some kind of a movie star or something according to Wikipedia). The castle wasn't the most exciting tourist attraction in the world, but that didn't prevent us from having a great time. After the castle we stopped for lunch to have the European equivalent of a burrito...Doner Kebab (truly one of the top food stuffs I've encountered on this adventure).

My cousin Joel arrived in Switzerland as we were completing our Provence vacation, so for a day and half Chez Seeber had two guests (thankfully my dad and Joel have no problem getting along, and neither really complained about having to share a bedroom...although for some strange reason the couch had what appeared to be an imprint of a full grown male in the cushions). I opted to take the two of them on the standard Switzerland visitor tour, which included walking through the streets of Lausanne to show everyone where we live, followed by a trip up to Gruyeres for lunch, then the chocolate factory for treats. After the chocolate buzz wore off we drove back into Lausanne and made a stop at Lac Sauvabelin, which is basically a park in the city with farm animals, a lake, and a wooden tower that overlooks the city.

Quick story, and I promise a flurry of posts in the next several days as I have been entertaining visitors, as well as visiting on my own the past few weeks...

The weather has finally made a turn for the better here in Switzerland. The familiar signs of Spring began a few weeks ago, but over the last few days have become much more abundant. The first sign of Spring we noticed is the lake level (of Lake Geneva) is much, much lower than normal (if you look closely at the fork in the water, you can see the normal water level on the tines...). We have postulated as to the cause, and have deduced two and only two possible solutions: the snow has not yet melted from the Alps to replace the water that dissipates due to the dry winter air; or the water bottling factory in Evian has started using lake water instead of natural alpine springs (if it's the latter, I'm sure they filter out the duck poo).


The second sign of Spring is the emergence of the first flowers such as tulips, crocuses, and other flowers such as yellow and purple ones (that is the official name, yellow and purple...can you tell I am not the botanist?).


The final sign of Spring is the emergence of the winter dork from his hibernation. Hopefully we can capture more pictures of him striking a pose in his natural habitat...

I drive through countries like Americans drive through states. On Tuesday I drove from Switzerland to Belgium (about 8 hours in the car), which for the geographically challenged enabled me to see three other countries (although the most direct route would have only put me in one more). After leaving Switzerland, I made my way into France but I soon realized I was heading for the motorway which would cost me an arm and a leg (in France you can figure the tolls will cost you about 10 Euro for every 100 km, or around $13 every 60 miles) since I would be in France for about 300 - 400 km so I quickly took to the country roads on the most direct route to the mothership...Germany. The best part about Germany is the Autobahns (which is really just a fancy German word for highway) which in most places aren't limited by speed. Although this guzzles the gas, it allows one to traverse large distances over short time periods (provided you aren't freaking out the whole time about getting run over by a supercharged German sports car).

It's Alli guest blogging because my Well Kept Man failed to pick me up at work (he borrowed our car today to buy groceries in France). Needless to say, I had to find my own way to the border to retrieve said car and the Well Kept Man (but not necessarily in that order).  Upon my arrival, I noticed the Well Kept Man was none too happy...

the Fugitive (formally known as A Well Kept Man, but not to be confused with Harrison Ford's blockbuster character) is currently awaiting a pardon from outgoing President George W. Bush either due to the Fugitive's charming good looks or to the sensitive Top Secret information he has about the whereabouts of twelve hamburgers (this will make sense in a minute, I promise).  FYI - We don't have pictures from this adventure as they were confiscated for the Fugitive's trial.  Now the Fugitive can tell you his side of the story as he was released on house arrest.

A Well Kept Man was detained at the Switzerland / France border...details to follow as soon as more information is received.

Alli and I made our second ski trip last weekend to Villars-Gryon, an area about an hour from our apartment. The weather below 1000 meters was dull and gray, but as soon as we crossed through the clouds (which I never seem to tire of) we were treated to clear skies and an inviting sun. After parking at the base we trekked up to the gondola (about 400 m or so) in our ski gear, boots and all, to buy our day passes. The nice thing about skiing in Switzerland is the prices tend to be fairly reasonable (relatively speaking) because you have so many options of competing mountains. A day of skiing for the two of us is under $100 USD, which you would be hard-pressed to match at a comparable resort in the United States (I'm thinking in the Rockies, Lake Tahoe area, and Utah). Also, our pass allowed us access to the adjoining resort of Les Diablerets, which took about 20 minutes of skiing and chairlifts to reach.

We had a wonderful day of skiing with our highest peak topping at 2120m (6955 ft, or 1.3 miles high). Some of the runs were extremely long, which induced some lovely burning sensations in the thigh and calf areas. No mishaps were reported aside from the one time I looked back to see if Alli had wiped out, causing me to wipe out (very briefly, nobody saw it happen, so it really didn't happen...). We definitely needed the off day that followed as our legs weren't in any shape to walk, let alone ski. We hope to make a few more runs in the mountains before our big ski week in Zermatt towards the middle of March, which if nothing else will give me more opportunity to wipeout and build up some padding in the form of contusions.

One thing that amuses me about skiing here is the contradictory technology usage. On the one hand, our lift tickets are snazzy RFID cards that you just put in a pocket and wave near a sensor to let you on a lift. On the other hand, a majority of the lifts are the old fashioned kind where you hang on to an overhead cable as it pulls you up the mountain (Picture a pick-ax attached to a rope that on the rope end connects to an overhead cable system that pulls you up the mountain, and the pick-ax end goes between and behind your legs to reduce the amount of holding on you have to do...There's also a variant of the pick-ax where it is replaced by the equivalent of salad plate. Would it hurt them to at least make it dinner plate size?). I find this odd as the Swiss have some of the best ski chair technology in the world (as evidenced by ski adventures in Utah, Montana, Colorado, etc.) but they don't seem to use it much in their own backyard. It kind of makes you wonder...

I miss America already...

Please examine the following receipt.


Done? Good. Now do the math conversion to get it into your base currency (1 CHF = $0.83 USD, $1 USD = 3.67 UAE dirhams). Done? Good. Some of you may think, wow, we are pretentious, snobby food aficionados so we must have partaken in the most extravagant Thanksgiving feast ever. You would be incorrect. I would like to now show you in picture form (complete with snarky play-by-play) what we consumed on Thanksgiving in Switzerland (note: all pictures of alcohol have been removed to make this posting suitable for those under the legal drinking age in their jurisdiction...or because I forgot to take pictures of them). Now please examine the photos below to judge how well we spent our money (and by our money I mean Alli's).

As you can see, we were treated to a lovely cup of New England clam chowder. With subtle hints of tarragon and creamy undernotes, the six spoonfuls surely stoked my tastebuds for what would surely be a momentus Thanksgiving feast. We knew we were in for a treat when the bowl of oyster crackers was placed on the table, as we were told these came from Target (that's right, The Target in Minneapolis). As soon as we had finished this first course of what appeared to be only one of potentially fifty, I eagerly awaited the next plate. Would it be a round of foie gras paté, or perhaps a lovely plate of white truffle risotto? Unfortunately this guessing game went on for about ten minutes as we waited and waited for the next plate.


For the facilitation of describing the plate, I will start at 12 o'clock. Please note the ample white space on the plate, this was apparently intentional as the food is not allowed to touch for fear of cross-contaminating flavors. (Editor's note: Did anybody in America's plate look like this on Thanksgiving? No? That's what I thought. In my mind, Thanksgiving is all about how much you can cram on a plate at a time, because once that stomach fills up, you may have trouble getting up from the table without popping a button off your Levi's Snug Fit Jeans into Aunt Ruthie's eye...) Back to the plate, at 12 o'clock you seen a spoonful of a dark mass. After spending five minutes debating what it could possibly be, I opted to break the stalemate and taste it. It turned out to be "stuffing." (Yea, the stuffing that comes in a pig while it's still living, also known as sausage.) It had a very subtle spice flavor to it, with the consistency of dry grits. This was voted least favorite of everything (it won by a landslide).

The item at 2 o'clock is pretty much self evident, corn-on-the-third-of-a-cob. I am convinced corn is the most expensive commodity here in Switzerland. At the grocery store corn averages about 2 CHF per ear, which I guess is why all the cows eat grass (Kobe beef they are not!!). The corn was boiled (way too long) and then seared over a hot grill (bad idea). It tasted like they made it yesterday, forgot about it in the pot, remembered it and figured grilling it would fix it. Oh well. 3 o'clock to 4 o'clock was the cranberry dish. Served bubbling hot, it actually was fairly tasty. My kudos to the chef for balancing the tartness of the cranberries with the sweetness of sugar...or whatever.

The starring attraction is featured at 6 o'clock (and meandering between 5 and 8-ish). The turkey was very moist, and extremely flavorful. Obviously this guy has roasted a bird or two. No real complaints here except for the funny presentation (which you can't really see. Each person's turkey was topped with a piece of turkey skin, I guess to prevent it from drying out though since the turkey was neither deep-fried nor grilled, nobody decided it was worth the extra 736 calories). Finally taking us home at 9 o'clock is exactly one third of one carrot sliced bilaterally (in half, top to bottom...I think, I just wanted to use the word "bilaterally"). Main course done.



The dessert was eagerly anticipated, but quickly dissapointed. This pie was definitely pumpkin flavored, but seemed more like eating a dense sponge soaked in pumpkin essence baked in a flaky pie crust (that somebody burnt). The toasted almonds were a nice touch to compliment the super tasty cinnamony-almond ice cream. Feeling charitable I gave the chocolate straw to my wife (I figured I should help assuage the feelings of her Thanksgiving didn't live up to expectations).

So finally tally, five glasses of wine between the two of us, two cups of soup, two plates of food, and two desserts. That works out to roughly 15 CHF per glass of wine, 10 CHF per cup of soup, 65 CHF for the main course (8 CHF scoop of sausage, 10 CHF corn coblet, 5 CHF ladle of cranberry, 30 CHF for 4 oz of turkey with gravy (skin garnish 2 CHF), & 10 CHF piece of carrot)and 35 CHF per piece of pie.

At the end of the day, I will say that we are thankful that we had a nice meal to eat (considering many have much less than us) and shared some great company. Next Thanksgiving, I am sure we will go overboard just to make up for this year. Enjoy your Christmas shopping America...I'm off to find something to eat (I can't figure out why I'm still hungry).

Tonight, we will join a multitude of displaced Americans at a local Pizzeria to celebrate Thanksgiving. I am not quite sure what to expect other than the absence of our family and friends. I have been informed that it will contain turkey and all of the trimmings, but I will bring my camera just in case to document any unfortunate misunderstandings of the types of food which are acceptable at the Thanksgiving table. I don't hold high hopes for pumpkin pie, apple pie, or any other kind of pie (pie doesn't seem to be a favorite of Europe), nor do I expect to see the standard canned cranberry which so easily slides out of the can and onto a plate for slicing (this, Alli will be thankful for...me, not so much).

Regardless of the meal I have much to be thankful for this year. Although I wish I could see all of our families and friends to share this holiday in person, I am thankful that we are able to celebrate this holiday with you if only in spirit. I am thankful I won't be subject to watching the Lions lose for the sixth Thanksgiving in a row, and I am thankful for not having to arbitrate who has to wash the dishes after dinner (I say, if you cooked anything you are off dish duty...this includes opening the can of cranberry and putting it on a plate). I am also thankful for the internet as I won't have to wake up at 4 am to go wrestle the last Nintendo Wii away from some kid on crutches (you know who you are Timmy), and instead can do my shopping online from the comfort of my couch (actually, everyone is getting Swiss chocolate and pocket knives, I got a good deal from a cow in the Alps).

I am thankful for a supportive wife who has blessed me with the opportunity to refocus on what is important in my life, and giving me the chance to travel to places I've never imagined. I am thankful for ice cubes, affordable cuts of meat, college football (not soccer!), Costco, friends that speak English, Lutherans, my dog, and the ability to communicate electronically or over the phone with our family back home. I am thankful we are in a neutral country that doesn't appear to be the target of hostility towards Americans (aside from the contempt of not speaking perfect French), as well as for the knowledge that the U.S.A. is the best place on Earth to live!

In all seriousness, I am thankful for my wife, my family, my friends, as well as the great fortune I've had in life. I have been able to experience so much and yet there is so much more to see and do. I pray that God will continue to bless me and my family (and friends) with His love, and that those who don't know this love will feel it someday. I am thankful for all of the gifts I have been given, and I am thankful that I have been able to share some of this experience in Switzerland with all of you out there on the internet.

So when you are loosening your belt a couple notches later today, and after you've woken up from your deep fried turkey with gravy, stuffing, cranberry, bean casserole, yam, pumpkin pie, Diet Coke (I am aware of the irony) coma; think of the two lonely Americans sitting in a Pizzeria in Switzerland and be thankful you don't have to try and describe to a waiter in French that you would like plain tap water, not the pricey bottled water, but you don't want to have to keep asking for refills (and would it kill them to put more than two ice cubes in the glass)...and give thanks!

Here are two examples of why life can be very exciting at the grocery store in Switzerland. The first example is a carton of eggs. Aside from the obvious failure of quality control (hint: the white eggs are missing spots, duh!), there is also a chicken feather (at least that's what I hope it is) in the box. Also, did you know that eggs are not in the refrigerated section? They are located on a shelf in the middle of the store (at room temperature), right next to the milk (which is also at room temperature). I suppose if it comes hot from the source then what is the harm in letting it stay warm, right? Either way, both the eggs and the milk make it into our fridge once at home.


I like to call the second example "Fractal Food" (this is probably a bit advanced for my elementary through middle school audiences, but would probably be a great extra credit exercise). I don't really know what it is, although it was next to the broccoli and cauliflower, so it is probably a nerdy cousin of the two (it is called a Romanseco). I will most likely blanch it, and if it tastes gross, cover it with melted cheese (hey, it worked when I was a kid).

I figured out how to watch The Game here in Switzerland on the internet. Needless to say I am feeling very proud of my geekiness. The feed is choppy, but I am happy nonetheless being in Switzerland watching a game played a few thousand miles away.

Go Bucks!

I will be off for the next few days on adventures. Today (Monday) through Wednesday afternoon I will be in Wengen, Switzerland. We are staying in a small mountain village that is accessible only by train (no cars allowed!). Hopefully I will get a chance to sample some mountain fondue, and chance marmots around. This is supposed to be one of the most scenic areas as it is home to the Jungfrau (Maiden), Mönch (Monk), and Eiger (Ogre) Mountains. I don't think this is where Shrek was filmed but I'll keep my eyes on full alert.

We are traveling via train which is ,supposed to extremely scenic. The train is called the Golden Pass and it provides panaromic views of the entire journey (which starts down by the Eastern edge of Lake Geneva and winds it's way up through the Swiss Alps to Interlaken, about three hours, where we will then switch to local trains to complete the journey). I will be with our friends Kim and Andy (separate rooms of course) so I will probably be up late at night as they are night owls. Nearby to this town are the cities of Grindelwald (residence of Richard Wagner according to the infallible Internet) and Interlaken.

I hope to snap some great photos to share with you all...Enjoy working hard America!

Having rained nonstop for the last two days, I awoke to a cool, yet sunny morning and decided today would be a great day for a ride (I'm guessing Alli was probably hoping I would get out of the house as well as she is tired of me getting to take naps while she works hard saving Medtronic from incongruent pricing policies for medical device sales across European countries). It's been a couple weeks since I've taken a serious bike ride (most of my bike rides are just in and around Lausanne trying to find all of the things I haven't seen yet) so today felt like a good, long ride day. I tried to ride down to Vevey once, but was turned back due to the threat of inclement weather (or at least that is what I'd have you believe...).

Today I went all in and pedaled my way down to Vevey (I made it back as well...how else would you be reading this?). I probably exercised away about 5300 kilojoules (1200 calories) today on the roughly 44 km ride (~27ish miles), but I have no way of actually verifying the energy exerted, so you'll have to take my word for it (unless you can correlate the depth of the salt on my skin left by sweating with work performed; I'll leave this task to someone with a PhD).

Speaking of saddles, I didn't realize my bum is made of Tempur-Pedic Memory Foam (the same stuff they use on the Space Shuttle to remember where the Tang container goes when they are done with it). I am actually typing this post standing up to allow the dents in my butt to change from concave to convex once more (I know what you're thinking, let's pretend for the sake of humor that I do actually have a derrière).

This part of Switzerland is wine country so the entire ride consisted of winding my way through vineyards, with the beautiful sun-kissed lake and Alps being the other noteworthy feature. It's funny because I see these giant mountains everyday and I tend to forget they are there until I get a day like today where I can see every snow-topped peak and rocky summit. We (me and the Mrs.) are so thankful for this experience and undoubtedly will wistfully look back upon these days in our rocking chair days and fondly recall the views, food, and exciting adventures (ok, I'm just blatantly trying to make you all jealous...is it working?).

Many have read or heard about the well-prepared nature of the Swiss people. Whether it be secret mountain fortresses, underground tunnels, or vast stockpiles of water and food, the Swiss share a paranoia that enables them to at least appear to be one of the most collectively prepared group of people. I haven't really stumbled across any of the secret military tunnels into the sides of mountains, nor have I noticed explosive charges on the overpasses that could shut down the nation's highways within minutes, but our apartment sits atop a unique structure that all apartments and home across this interesting country require... a bomb shelter.

Every Swiss basement is required to shelter the occupants of the edifice in the event of a chemical, biological, or nuclear event that would render the normal living conditions inhospitable. The first door is approximately 35 cm (~14 inches) and looks more like a bank vault door. It is made of lead. Once inside this door, you are in an airlock which contains a simple sign in French, which indicates that you must rinse off for at least 7 minutes before entering the next door. I assume there is some sort of water supply to this airlock which is covered by the boxes behind this door, but I can't see it. The boxes contain dry toilets and bed frames (cots) that are to be used in the case of an extended stay in the room below.

The next door is almost identical to the first, although it has a giant bolt and wrench to enable the door to be locked from the inside. I am guessing this is to keep the zombies out after the apocalypse. Once inside the roughly 2 feet of concrete and lead, you come to a hallway with wooden rooms that make me think I am a termite inside an over-sized piece of IKEA furniture. Each room belongs to an apartment above, ours in number 12 (in case something happens while you are here visiting, please calmly make your way to this spot where we will let you in. If we seem hungry for brains, don't let us in.)

It is rather dimly lit and cozy down here, and the air smells eerily clean (one can assume there is a filtration system in place to make sure we aren't breathing the same air as the zombies). Most everyone uses these rooms for storage, although there is supposed to be non-perishable food and water to feed you and your family for a specified amount of time (by the way they make great wine storage facilities). Hopefully we will never have to use this room for anything more than just hiding our ski gear and luggage, but should Switzerland accidentally find itself in the path of a weapon of mass destruction, rest assured that Alli and I (as well as our visitors) will be safe and thirsty (unless I put some water down there).

We will probably have a very leisurely morning followed by the last minute wrap of all things Dublin that we missed (Trinity College maybe). This will sadly be our last day in Ireland as our flight leaves at noon back to Geneva. I don't know how long it will take us to get our travel photos and adventures posted, but I will do my best to not hold back for too long. We are again on Aer Lingus and taking the train from Geneva to Lausanne, walking from the train station to our apartment. Alli will probably be excited to sleep in her own bed, but not excited about working the next day. Oh, and it is Alli's birthday today so don't forget to send her an email reminding her that she's still older than me.