A Well Kept Man

Most people think today is Halloween, which I suppose it is, except I live in Switzerland and we have no trick-or-treaters (oh well, more Gummi Bears for me). Instead, I decided to celebrate Reformation Day. Please follow the link below for a virtual nailing of the 95 theses.

Enjoy!

I've recently told Alli that ever since I've been here I've craved donuts. Which is odd because I don't get donuts that particularly often. In fact, I've been told they aren't good for me and have pretty much removed them from my diet altogether (except when I am in no danger of being found out). Anyway, I have struggled trying to figure out whether it is indeed the donut I crave, or is it something else. Segue to my daily grind...I spend a lot of time on the internet these days (this is kind of like saying the Nile is just a river in Egypt). One of my daily stops in pursuit of the end of the internet is a food blog called Serious Eats. It is very interesting and I encourage you to check it out.

For the foodies out there, Alton Brown is one of my heroes. He just is the perfect mix of mad scientist, my Uncle George (the kind of guy that rides motorcycles, plays with trains, drinks fine wines, talks to everyone like they've been friends for thirty years, and yet still seems to get to bed at a decent hour), and witty humorist (think Mark Twain mixed with Dave Barry). Anyway, Serious Eats has a two-minute video on their site today of an interview with Alton Brown. It was about donuts, so I had to check it out. At the end of the segment, I decided that I still need donuts (I imagine that will be one of my first purchases in America at Christmas time as they don't really have donuts here); however, there was something Alton said that struck me and gave me a moment of zen.

Link to article/video (Click here)

You'll have to watch the video to see what I mean, but I think most people will understand what I was thinking. If not, leave a comment and I'll enlighten you.

Alli's sister is in-continent (not incontinent, that would be something much more funny, but probably not for this blog) for three weeks, so we decided to guilt her into coming to see us in Switzerland. The real purpose of the trip is for her to make kissy faces with her boyfriend in Germany, but blood is thicker than hefeweizen so we convinced the two of them to meet us halfway. Basel is an industrial city in the north (kind of central, kind of west) of Switzerland. It is bisected by a river, and has a distinctly German feel to it (they even speak German...which isn't really that noteworthy or surprising).

We chose Basel both for it's proximity to both our home in Switzerland and Stuttgart, Germany (where the boyfriend spends his days and nights), as well as for the fall festival that happened to coincide with our desired rendezvous weekend. I would equate the festival to the Minnesota State Fair (really any state fair, or county fair, or church carnival), the only difference being the fact that it was held in the city vice a fairgrounds. Most European cities don't reserve prime real estate for the sole purpose of selling whirlpools at factory direct prices, as they deem the land valuable for such things as agriculture and housing. This led to a very disjointed festival as the various parts of the fair were blocks apart. One plaza had a ferris wheel and spinning tea cup ride, while another had one of those slingshot tower drop things and whack-a-mole. Our favorite was the section devoted to food...nothing was served on a stick (much to the disappointment of all Minnesotans).

The interesting tidbit I'd share is that when you order a bratwurst (more specifically thatwurst and thiswurst as I had no clue what the difference was, or even which was which...Alli's wound up having melted cheese inside, mine was just a normal brat), it does not come with a bun. You just get a brat on a plate with a squirt of spicy mustard. Sometimes you will get a slice of rye bread as well, but that's it. I noticed the locals using the bread to hold the brat in place while they tore off a piece from the end with their teeth or fingers, depending on the individual. I opted for the tear by hand method to avoid hot brat juice in the face...Alli went teeth first and ended up with molten cheese all over her cheeks (rookie!).

We also managed to devour cinnamon roasted almonds, crepes, garlic/mustard pretzels, and glühwein (spiced red wine, served hot). Not a bad haul if you ask me. There was also a large convention center which had many of the things you'd expect to find at a state fair: first floor had indoor rides and coin operated games; second floor had discount merchandise; third floor had spas, whirlpools, windows, vacuums, Ron Popeil automatic food dehydrator (or whatever Euro-equivalent), power tools; fourth floor had food, a fashion show, and representatives from various vacation destinations in and around Switzerland.

We had dinner early as we all had about a two and a half hour drive back to our respective hamlets, but it was nice to catch up with Alli's sister and her long-distance main squeeze. We will see them again at Christmas in Minnesota, and possibly over the winter for a ski-getaway. Unfortunately I don't really have anything positive or negative about the non-fair aspects of Basel as we were really only focused on the fair, visiting with Alli's sister, and avoiding the smell of fresh, hot, roasted chestnuts (marrons) which were everywhere.

Some people take pleasures in the simple things in life...

For my wife, it was discovering that her baby sister has gray hair. As my wife has yet to fall victim to one of the most visible signs of aging, she seemed to think that this revelation was quite the knee slapper.

Apparently, she got the laughing out of the way with me very early in the relationship as I have had gray hair since I was about twelve (I have had gray hair now longer than I lived without). Not that we are even close to being qualified as old, rather I think we are reaching an age when it is very apparent we aren't kids anymore (Does everyone else wake up sore in the morning? Argh!).

Welcome to growing up!

No, it's not snowing...apparently Switzerland forgot to tell the two of us that today is the first day of Winter Time. Huh? We awoke extra early this morning as we are to drive to Basel to meet up with my fair wife's sister and her boyfriend (her sister's boyfriend, Alli's was busy). As I quickly opened my email for any last second news or delays on her sister's part, I saw that my computer clock didn't match our alarm clock. In addition, we had an email from the aforementioned sister indicating today was Europe's version of "Falling Back" one hour.

Ugh! I could have slept an extra hour...thankfully I don't have a job so this will be easily remedied tomorrow. Alli, not so much.

Little Jackie Paper, all grown up

With apologies to Peter, Paul, and Mary, it appears that the beautiful land in which I live is not Switzerland, but rather Honalee. Confused? (I venture those over 40 are not, those between 30 - 40 might be, under 30 I hold no hope for you and your generation with your nimble fingers for texting, and your ipods, and your online social networking sites...)

You see, for the last several days it has been raining nonstop...except it can be more aptly described as mist. And for the better part of the last thirty days or so it has been Autumn. In case you haven't been following we live by a lake, but due to the incessant fog and mist you would think that the lake does not end on the opposite shore because you can't see the shore (sometimes we can see the mountain peaks but that's it...honest).

Perhaps I'm stretching things a bit as I have yet to see a dragon, let alone a magic one. At this point the rest of the metaphor falls apart, I just wanted to complain that autumn here is basically cold, foggy, and rainy/misty. I'd go biking except I fear for hypothermia and www.WebMD.com seems to indicate that this is a serious condition that I should avoid. Maybe I'll get on a train one of these days and go somewhere exciting like Baden Baden (it's German for "Bathe Bathe"...you know, like Paw Paw in Michigan...so nice, they named it twice!).

Alli and I spent Sunday afternoon at Animalia 2008 (really just a dog show but they also had cats, amphibians, reptiles, fish, and alpacas). I was somewhat hesitant to go due to the anticipated guilt I would feel about not having my dog around. Rather than bring her along (and cause what would most likely result in an airplane cargo-hold panic/heart attack), we begged my family to watch her for a year in exchange for proper treatment of said family in their Golden Years. (Just kidding Dad, I owe you big time!!!!!)

When we arrived at the exposition (it kind of felt like one of those spa sales they have at the state fairgrounds where everything must be sold at factory direct prices) we were greeted to a large pool with a boat that had overturned. I reasoned that this was some sort of ploy to buy a boat that had self-righting capabilities. Upon closer inspection we found a Newfoundland dog jumping into the water and swimming over to "rescue" the helpless victim of shoddy boating skills. I grew up next door to a couple of these dogs and let's just say if a baseball accidentally went over the fence, that's where it stayed (these dogs are HUGE!!). The dog proceeded to grab the victim and pulled him (and the other person who was in serious need of boating instruction) to safety...very cool!

This repeated for about fifteen more minutes with various rescue scenarios, inevitably ending with a heroic rescue by a Newfoundland dog (or in one case, a Golden Retriever that seemed confused when instead of a downed bird or mallard, he found a 130 pound lady. This was actually humorous as then a Newfoundland was sent in to rescue the lady while the Golden just swam back to shore).

We quickly noticed that there were dogs everywhere...of every shape and size. We saw probably the smallest of dog breeds (chihuahuas being pushed in a stroller) to the largest (Mastiffs, and Irish Wolfhounds). Inside the hall were various rings where the breeds were being judged. It was somewhat surreal to see as how often do you walk down the street and see twenty St. Bernard's walking in a row, or beagles for that matter (definitely cool). Unfortunately, the place smelled like a fire hydrant, as the dogs seemed to find every post, corner, and carpet to introduce themselves to later passing dogs. I really felt sorry for the poor schmucks whose job it was to walk around the place with a mop and bucket of lemon scented water to quickly eliminate the eliminations.

As luck would have it we missed the Irish Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier judging (apparently occurring during the dramatic water rescue), so we didn't get to see Hildi's European kin in action. We did however manage to see a couple meandering around after the show. Alli's favorite part was watching the dog obstacle course (you know, the one's where they chase their owners around various jumps, teeter-totters, tunnels, slalom poles etc.). I enjoyed watching the owners. It never ceases to amaze me what some people choose to do with their time. Some of the owners were very athletic, and obviously well versed in the art of dog whispering...others not so much (I'm being polite here, I was going to write about the physical aspects of the owners, but I don't want to embarrass the dogs any more than I already have).

This event was a pleasant surprise, and we definitely decided owning and loving a dog is about the best thing anyone can do (cats are lame, fish don't do tricks, babies become teenagers). We can't wait to see our dog at Christmas-time...in the meantime, I'll be hanging out like the St. Bernard below.

One of the best parts of last week was finishing a load of laundry and finding out that the person who used the washer/dryer before me decided it would be neato to wash their clothes with a fountain pen filled with ink. Needless to say a bunch of our clothes now have blue ink spots on them...which unfortunately is not currently in style. Oh, to be in a house again....

Seriously, how does this thing not fall over?? I have always been suspect of the "lean" on the Tower of Pisa, that is until I ventured a look for myself. Let's just say that "Leaning" is a bit understated, that tower is in full tilt. Unfortunately I left my protractor in Minnesota, so I was unable to calculate the angle the Tower makes with the ground (it's safe to say that it is an acute angle...so for those currently in geometry, that means the angle is between which two values?)

I also didn't expect Pisa to be as touristy as it was...there was a throng of camera toting English speaking crazies. It seems the most popular thing to do in Pisa is try to think of something creative to do in a picture to make it look like you are causing the lean on the tower, or just enabling a behavior as a result of the tower's lean. I should have snapped a photo of all of the tourists and their various poses, but that would detract from the originality of my poses.

We also ventured inside the Duomo (my Italian isn't very good, I assume this means "House of God," or church for short) which was very unique. The church housed some neat paintings, the preserved remains of St. Ranieri (patron saint of Pisa), an awesome frescoed dome, as well as a gilded ceiling and the tomb of Henry VII (ooh, just one Henry short of the famed Henry VIII). We spent a few hours here in the Piazza of Miracles which also houses a couple other buildings which we didn't go into (a museum, a baptistery, and the cemetery...which I guess we kind of walked by but didn't exactly examine) before heading to Lucca in the afternoon (much cooler city by the way, less touristy, and more Italian). Pisa was also crawling with vendors hawking their goods, which ranged from "fine" leather purses to mechanitronic dogs that bark and do back flips (they also had designer knock-off sunglasses, porcelain plates, knick knacks, and souveniers). I wouldn't necessarily recommend going out of your way to visit Pisa, but if you are nearby (within an hour) it is worth a stopover.

We spent the long weekend (Friday - Tuesday) in Italy, staying near the coast on the northwestern side of Italy (we stayed in the area of La Spezia, near the Ligurian Sea...I thought it was the Mediterranean Sea, but then again I never really excelled at geography). Our first day was spent hiking in the Cinque Terre, which are a series of small towns perched along the coast of the sea and separated by about five hours of walking. You could take a train between the towns, but apparently exercising was a higher priority. The paths were very narrow and at times a bit precarious, but the views and experience was completely worth the salt crust that formed on my skin as a result of excessive perspiration (I thought for sure I would have to burn my clothes, but thankfully that wasn't the case).

Italy is such a beautiful place and this setting certainly lives up to the images I have conjured in my head. We also took advantage of being close to the sea with our food selection, sampling fresh anchovies (normally I would say ick, but I tried them here and they were amazing!) Also, fresh spaghetti with clams, grilled swordfish, pasta with fish (fish wasn't described, I'm guessing swordfish, but possibly something else), and the freshest calamari and shrimp breaded and fried. The sea was colder than I imagined it would be, but nevertheless I found time to put my legs in a few times.

The only negative aspect of this trip...driving (seriously, I should have learned from the last time, next time I am in Italy, it will be on a Mediterranean cruise with a port of call in Rome or something). I managed to high five a couple cars with my side view mirrors, no significant damage thankfully. I also seemed to find my way down the narrowest road known to man, only to find a dead end and then having to retrace my steps in reverse (did I mention the giant brick wall to my right and cavernous abyss to my left?). At one point, I crested a hill (in the dark, so cresting was unknown to be occurring) only to find the pitch of the road changed from a severely positive gradient to an extremely negative one (I felt like Starsky & Hutch hot on the tail of a bad guy, or maybe it was more Dukes of Hazzard...either way, the Jetta had some good hang time).

We had lots of gelato and pizza as well, so it was a great getaway with our friends Bethany and Andy. Tomorrow, I will regale you will tall tales of a leaning building...

Alli and I will be in Italy for the next five days (Cinque Terre, and maybe Pisa), so if you are looking for something to read, try somewhere else because I couldn't think of anything clever to write ahead of time (and I am late on packing so I have to go do that now).

If you must contact us, we will be at the following location:

I realize that it isn't November yet, but I have voted (as has the wife, completely independently with no help from me whatsoever). We sent in our absentee ballots today, and we live in Switzerland. So for those of you out there who aren't sure if you are going to vote or not, you have no excuse. It doesn't quite feel right when I don't get to go into one of those little booths (I went in the bathroom and closed the door instead...and no I didn't multitask). I also am sad I don't get one of those sweet stickers that guilt everyone else into voting.

At least the ballot appeared to be legitimate, and there weren't any misspellings that I could find. I am also not feeling disenfranchised, even though my vote will probably sit in a pile somewhere and won't be included when CNN decides to call Minnesota. Maybe a few weeks after the election when my vote will officially be counted, I will feel validated. But in reality I feel proud to have the opportunity to vote from thousands of miles away from home (legally). Make sure you get out and vote as well.

Here are some cool pics (by cool I mean it was in the mid-low 50's, and also it was windy, and the mountains have snow on them, and I am not physically present in any of them). The pics were taken on Sunday evening at the Julius Bär Challenge. This event was the final in a series of yachting (actually catamaran) races in various ponds and puddles across Europe. I was desperately hoping for a moment from ABC's Wide World of Sports crossed with World's Wackiest Sports bloopers when one of these beauties all of the sudden tipped over spilling the sailors into the cold water, but as fate would have it the only thing spilled was a glass of Chablis at the after race soirée (Don't worry Mr. Howell, that will wash out of your chinos...What why do you care? Just buy another pair, it's not like you do laundry anyway).

Since I am not a helicopter I could not figure out the course they were taking around the lake, so I am unable to really recap the race highlights. I can tell you however that the catamaran that is maroon/pink was piloted by women, whereas all of the other vessels were captained/crewed by men. Obviously the rich dude's team from my previous post won (Obvious because why would I waste my time blogging about a rich loser? Only rich winners get top billing here at A Well Kept Man. Stay tuned for future episodes...), but these ladies finished a respectable seventh out of ten teams.

On Saturday, we went to the Classic British Car Show in Morges, where approximately 1,400 cars were on display. It was fun to walk around and see all of the interesting cars, you wouldn't expect there to be so many British cars in Switzerland. Apparently there is a lot of money around here as many of them were well out of the ordinary person's price range. A sampling of the car models were Rolls Royce, Cooper, Austin, Rover, Ford, Aston Martin, Jaguar, Lotus, Morgan, MG, and TVR (there were many others, I just can't remember them all). It's a tough call but I'd have to say my favorites were the Aston Martin's (the James Bond looking one from the 1960's as well as the more recent models), Alli likes the Land Rovers. Click the link below to see more pictures. Enjoy!

Click Here for More Car Pictures

So there Alli and I were, watching the various men and women unload their sailing gear from their massive sail boats (I know absolutely nothing about sailing by the way, but these are the kind of sail boats you would see in America's Cup or in an advertisement for a watch I can't afford) on the beautiful Lake Geneva shore. As we had no tickets to the big party (like I want to pay money to go hang out with the yacht club crowd anyway...although they looked like they were having great fun with their glasses of bubbly. Maybe we could sneak through the fence, I'm just saying...), we stood outside the gated fiesta where the fence was low enough to allow us to see all of the post-race happenings. After spending twenty minutes or so looking around (and oddly enough, not seeing anyone we recognized), a Swiss gentleman in front of me started taking a ridiculous amount of pictures of this guy standing on the inside (he's the guy in the chapeau and grayish coat), so I did what any rational engineer would do...

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with the sailing circuit, there is apparently a lot of money thrown around in this sport. Naturally, I assumed this gent to be a rich person of celebrity status. As my awareness of Swiss celebrities is limited to one person (retired Formula One driver Michael Schumacher) I figured it must be him (it wasn't until we would get home that I would be disappointed to find out my logical skills of identifying Swiss celebrities was flawed). At this point I became an obsessed paparazzi. I snapped about twenty photos over the course of five minutes hoping to catch him making an awkward hello-kiss (you know, the kind where a person kisses the air next to another person's cheek because they don't want to look silly leaving slobber on said person's cheek). Unfortunately, I didn't capture a picture People magazine would be willing to pay good money for...however I did manage a few pics that enabled a quick internet search to determine his secret identity (by secret I mean that he is Swiss, and I don't know his name; but he looked important like most über-wealthy people do. In case you've never seen someone of untold wealth, they just have this aura around them that makes one think that they bathe in hibiscus and rosewater petal baths while angelic choruses serenade and small, furry woodland creatures provide a lush carpet upon which their bare skin never touches the harsh, cold marble floor).

As it turns out he wasn't a famous race car driver, or even a movie actor. He is only Forbes Magazine's #76 most rich dude on the planet (in 2007 anyway...He probably slipped to number #83 after the stock market excitement over the last few weeks). The guy is worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $8.8 Billion US (I know, I should have asked him for a job or some money or something, but I froze...I mean, what do you say to a guy that has more money than the GDP of Malta? Seriously, Malta; a European microstate comprising an archipelago of three islands - Wikipedia). Anyway, the guy's name is Ernesto Bertarelli, and he seems like a cool dude (if you happen to read my blog Ernesto, post a comment or shoot me an email, and we'll do lunch or something).

For those that are not fortunate enough to make it over here for the chocolate factory tour in Broc, please allow me to express my empathy to you and your family. It's not that you are missing the greatest tour on Earth (to be honest, the tour itself is somewhat lacking), but what you are missing is the free samples and opportunity to purchase untold measures of pure chocolate perfection at rock bottom prices!

Don't believe me? Fine, don't (but don't expect any gifts for the holidays...your stocking will instead be stuffed with Swiss cheeses that have been left out in the sun too long...)

Anyway, as the internet has yet to perfect Smell-O-Vision, I will have to rely on photographic means to lure you to come visit. As the contents of the tasting room are ever changing, please keep in mind that the photographs represented on this site may not be indicative of the actual chocolate displayed during your visit.

The tour winds through the dark hallways of the Cailler factory, showing you pictures of a bunch of bearded guys who discovered how to make a better chocolate bar, as well as old posters, tin/aluminum/steel castings of various shapes and sizes, and old equipment previously used for creating the chocolate delicacies. In addition, there is a large room filled with bags of the various raw ingredients used in making chocolate with a docent to explain the origin and methods for utilizing all of the ingredients (Have you ever wanted to try a raw cocoa bean? Well this is your chance.) The last few rooms on the tour wind through a video room showing various parts of the factory in action as visitors are no longer allowed in the factory due to hygienic reasons (or possibly one too many kids put their grubby little fingers in the giant vats of molten chocolate and ruined it for the rest of us), as well as a smelling room where you can stick your nose up to an aluminum pipe which then shoots warm air carrying the scents of milk chocolate, white chocolate, dark chocolate, and chocolate with hazelnuts (separate tubes of course). Very sanitary!

The apex of the tour (not sure if this is the best word, maybe pinnacle would be better) is the tasting room where you are able to sample all of the available concoctions of chocolate. I encourage you to plan ahead if you come for a visit by either having a bottle of water handy, and/or taking your insulin as not to cause a scene. I've been three times so far, and thrice I've received a tummy ache (you would think I would have learned after the first time). Alli is much more judicious in her selections (meaning she doesn't throw caution to the wind and stuffs as much chocolate in her face as possible...maybe I should follow her lead next time) which has resulted in a much more pleasurable experience for her.

Once you've had all you can eat, you head out to the shop where you can buy as much as you want. Occasionally they have special items for sale, and they always have a special deal (like buy four bars, get one free, or 20% off on a specific box or something) so it's always worth a visit. The area around the factory is quite scenic as well and offers and opportunity to go climb on a castle, or feast upon a picnic lunch near a panoramic lake. They also take major credit cards, as well as Euros and Swiss Francs (unfortunately I don't receive a commission on what you buy, although I should)...

I thought I'd try a different look for the blog since I've been doing this for a while now (and the previous look seemed outdated)...let me know if you think it's good or bad. Colors need changing? Fonts hard to read? Let me know. Wishing there were more cow pictures? Let me know.

Thanks!

So as many of you know I have been looking for a job here in Switzerland to occupy my time until we move back to the United States. Today I received news back from my most promising opportunity to date, work as an Operations Strategy Specialist (basically what I've been doing in the States, but for coffee makers and hot chocolate instead of warships and naval electronics).

Needless to say they decided to go in a different direction, which reminded me of that time in high school when I asked out a girl I thought I had a chance with because we both had so much in common (we were in the same grade, we were in the same Spanish class, I liked girls, she liked boys...soul mates for sure). Even though at the time the rejection stung (much as this does now), I have learned from my experiences that God always has something better in store.

Like Alli.

So anyway, back to looking for another job...