A Well Kept Man

My life tends to be fairly uneventful these days (if you put aside all of the exciting adventures I have on the weekends), so any little form of getting out of the house and accomplishing something helps make for a great day. Take today for instance; I didn't really have big plans or anything so a typical Monday. However, three weeks ago Alli decided to purchase a new pillow (oreiller) as she has grown tired (pun intended) of her current head cushioning device. As one can probably guess, this pillow was deemed unfit (I tried it as well...too poofy) and placed by the front door for me to return at my earliest convenience.

So for the past few weeks I have endured the fear of walking up into town to the magasin (store) where the pillow was purchased in effort to beg for a refund. Those who follow this blog know that this was not my first attempt at returning an undesired item. Although successful the first time, I required a UN interpreter and umpteen signatures from various store personnel to get my money back. So you can imagine how excited I was to be able to take back the pillow (I would have been happy to take the CHF 30 loss and say "Lesson Learned" but being on a budget, my darling wife told me I could either take back the pillow or forego the new underwear I was hoping to get for Christmas).

Today was the day I finally worked up the courage to go attempt a return. Unfortunately, my interpreter at the electronics store would not come home with me for future use (plus, he probably would require care and feeding which I was not prepared to provide) so I knew I would be on my own. As I entered the store I felt my heart begin to speed up a bit as I began the trek up to the 5th floor (really the 6th, but that's Europe for you). After reaching the 5th floor I quickly made my way to the counter where an employee was helping a nice British couple with their return. Success was imminent, I could feel it. Except that it wasn't...as I stood behind them waiting another employee approached me to offer help. I figured that I needed to immerse myself in the culture and face my fear, rather than chicken out and rely on my crutch of English (plus, she was cute and I figured she would take pity on me).

And so the dance began...

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Bonjour Madame! (Hello lady, you are foxy...maybe if this doesn't work out we can go have some French Fries and share a Diet Coke)

Bonjour Monsieur. Comment est-ce que je peux vous aider? (Hello creepy American dude who speaks French horribly. How can I help you?)

Parles vouz anglais? (Do you speak English, because that would make things much easier. Plus, all of my best pick up lines are in English and I don't know if they will be as effective in French.)

Non. (No, why don't you leave before I have to call the police and have you deported back to America.)

(Sensing things going extremely well, I figured I would press my luck and try and get my money back anyway.)

Je voudrais rapporter ceci. (I would like to return this.)

Rapporter? (Wow, you knowmore than six French words...)

Oui. (Yes...at least I assume I should agree with you now)

Ok. Voici que vous allez, signez ici. (Ok, please sign this slip here so we can compare it against our database to make sure you aren't the type of person who returns hair dryers and pillows, then records the activities in a blog. Ok, you check out. Here is your money back, now leave before I change my mind)

Merci, au revoir. (Thanks, Goodbye, let's do this again sometime. Maybe I'll just start buying stuff and bringing it back to work on my French as I finally had what some might describe as a conversation. This is cause for celebration.)
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As you can tell, I am stoked that I did something useful. As a reward, I purchased a celebratory beer. I will report back on the quality of the celebratory beer once I have had ample time to savor my success.