A Well Kept Man

Alli and I are heading up to the Alsace region of France this weekend to meet up with our neighbors who live in Germany (Katie & Tom). We will be staying in Colmar on Saturday night, and return on Sunday evening. It should be a fun getaway as we haven't really traveled anywhere significant in the past few weeks (hence the lack of blogging adventures).

We did manage to have some excitement last week in the form of a spa day (sorry, no pictures...that would not be helpful for anyone involved). The area immediately to the south of us contains many natural mineral springs that for centuries have provided relaxation, rejuvenation, and comfort for countless Europeans. (link to the spa, actually baths at Les Bains de Lavey) Alli thought it would be fun to go check one of them out, with me kicking and screaming along the way. After all, guys don't do this sort of thing.

It cost 24 CHF per person to get in (math quiz: I paid for two of us to go. Given that it is 24 CHF per person, and we spent 3 hours at the spa, what was our combined cost per hour in CHF? Hint, division and multiplication are necessary to solve this problem, although multiplication can be eliminated if you are too lazy and replaced with addition) which granted us free reign of the place for three hours. The first clue we were not in America was the European locker room.

No gender separation.

You enter the locker room through a small changing booth with a door on either side...it took a few seconds to figure this out as I went through into the locker room where everyone was magically in bathing suits and towels. So back into the "dressing room" where I quickly changed into my Speedo (just kidding, I am still an American...it was a normal bathing suit that went down to my knees...Alli also changed, although I could hear her concern as she worried someone would surely barge into her one square meter "dressing room") and proceeded into the locker portion of the locker room.

We quickly stowed our belongings and headed upstairs to the pools. Before entering the pools, you had to enter the shower area. This was separated guys and girls (naturally). Except clue number two that we were in Europe and not America was the fact that you could see everything going on in either shower area from the opposite side. Apparently Europe has a strict "look but don't touch" policy when it comes to window shopping.

Once inside the spa was divided into a few distinct areas. The first was an indoor pool that played classical music and whale sounds...but you can only hear said sounds if you stuck your head under water. Pretty cool idea until the water seeps into your ear canal and refuses to come back out. We checked this area out briefly later in the day but weren't too impressed. From the inside you could enter one of two outdoor pools, both heated (although one was much warmer than the other). One pool seemed to be reserved for swimming and getting away from the teenagers that plagued the other, larger pool. The larger pool contained multiple fountains where one could stand and be pelted with varying spray effects (for massage purposes I presume). The larger pool also had a circular area in the middle which contained a literal whirlpool.

This whirlpool reminded me of the times when I was a kid and I found myself in a circular above ground pool. My friends and I would often march in a line around the edge of the pool (in the water) to create a current going in one direction. After a period of time if done effectively, the pool would have a current strong enough that if you turned opposite the current and attempted to swim you would get nowhere fast. So in the pool here we just decided to ride the current. It was kind of fun, despite all the rugrats that we kept running into.

The edge of the large pool was dedicated to the hot tubs and bubble activities of the spa. There were underwater platforms where you could lay down and have cascading jets massage the length of your body, as well as calmer areas where the temperature and bubbling activity resembled what I would think of when describing a jacuzzi. After spending ample time in the water, and having the shriveled skin to prove it, we decided to try out the non-pool parts of the spa.

They had three indoor areas, a Nordic Spa, an Oriental Spa, and a Senses Spa (I almost wrote Sensual Spa, but I think that would have taken people's minds in the wrong direction). We first tried out the Nordic Spa, which contained three saunas. One was mixed couples, mandatory bathing suits, and 50% humidity with a temperature of around 50 C. We lasted about 10 minutes before leaving and me jumping into the cold plunge pool (about 5-10 C). The second was again mixed couples, mandatory suits, same temp but 75% humidity (we passed). The third was segregated men and women, au naturel, and I don't know the rest because we quit reading when we saw "au naturel." They also had a polar room which we entered that was at 0 C, with snow and ice on the floor. It didn't seem that cold, but I would guess after a few minutes probably would.

We then checked out the Senses Spa and found that it was a 1.5 hour journey through the senses of light, temperature, smells, sounds, touch, etc. so we decided to pass as the next scheduled journey was an hour away and we knew we didn't have the time. At this point we went over to the Oriental Spa which contained various steam baths. We passed on the various ones which again were "au naturel" (it's tough being prudes from America), and opted only for the Turkish hammam which had 100% humidity, was in the complete dark, and felt like it was well over 50 C. You could barely breathe due to the intense heat/steam. Every breath made me feel asthmatic, and thus we lasted about two or three minutes before bailing out.

The spa was an interesting experience, not soon forgot. I don't imagine we will go back to this one, but there are others in nearby towns that are supposedly much nicer and varied so perhaps we'll check those out after a tough day on the slopes this winter. In the meantime, I will try not to have any more adventures that conjure images of me in a tight fitting bathing suit.