A Well Kept Man

The highlight of our week of ski hands down was the Snow-Balancer adventure on the second-to-last night we were in Zermatt. Our group spent the better part of many months our time leading up to this trip trying to determine what exactly the Snow-Balancer would be...most of us figured it would be some sort of toboggan or 3-legged device, but everyone pretty much concluded that it would resemble a sled more than anything. So when the big day arrived we were greeted at the hotel by the hotel's owner who would be taking us on our adventure (along with her husband) and our Snow-Balancers. We were all a bit surprised to find out that the Snow-Balancer is basically a seat attached to a ski with a shock absorber mounted between the ski and the seat (and by seat I mean a piece of durable plastic with two holes strategically placed to hold your bum still while you rocketed down the mountain).

We also didn't realize that we would be taking the actual ski runs down to the base of the mountain (we all figured it was just going to be a few runs on a bunny hill or something). Wrong!! Our adventure began at 2939 m (9642 ft...almost 2 miles) and finished at 1620 m (5314...just over one mile), meaning we rode this thing vertically for eight-tenths of a mile (the actual length of the course is still being calculated by my independent auditing firm). The basic principle is to sit on the balancer, balance on the ski, and hold on tight as you attempt to turn your torso enough to carve gentle S-curves while hurling down the mountain. The more you leaned back the easier it was to control, but this lifted your feet further off the ground which may present a problem if you needed to quickly stop as your feet were the only brakes.

For a somewhat poor comparison, imagine being on inline skates going down a big hill and you suddenly find yourself in grass...if this has ever occurred to you than you know that if you fail to start running (in spite of the wheels on your feet) you will fall flat on your face as the grass prevents your wheels from doing their job. This principle is very similar with the balancer as the second your feet hit the ground you either need to stand up and start running, or be prepared for white-out conditions in your face as you have just turned into a snow plow without windshield wipers. I think I managed a few times to either impersonate Superman or a snowball sliding not-so-gracefully down a steep hill. Alli had no problems but somehow she wound up with lots of bruising on her legs (definitely not from falling on top of the snow-balancer).

In spite of the apparent danger of this activity (we even signed a waiver in German, I am sure that regardless of what happened we still had some legal recourse...Ich spreche kein Deutsch) we had a great time. I for one couldn't stop giggling every time I launched off a mogul and managed to stick the landing like Mary Lou Retton (although the German judges didn't give me a good score). In spite of my being unable to sit normally for the next few days, I would do it again if I had the chance. The only negative was as the event progressed I noticed a damp chill on my posterior that I soon discovered was caused by me leaving my back pockets on my snow pants open, allowing all of the snow encountered on my various slides down the mountain to enter my pants where it immediately melted. Hence, we have this picture from our dinner (which we consumed at the midpoint of our journey...cheese fondue and air-dried meats, delicious!!) of me trying to dry out my assets. As far as I could tell, everyone had a great time and found it much easier to balance on the contraption after their tummies were filled with cheese and wine (not to mention the fact that it was pitch black and we had lights attached to our heads so we could see our way down in the dark).

Last Saturday, we traveled with Alli's dad and his significant other by train to Zermatt, Switzerland. Alli's sister and her German boyfriend were also in attendance, although they arrived later as they were traveling by rail from Germany. Zermatt is home to the world famous Matterhorn peak, which stands alone at 4,478 meters (14,692 feet) above sea level. Even though it isn't the highest peak in Switzerland, it is certainly one of the most recognizable and heavily photographed (I think Alli's dad took no less than 75 pictures of the peak). Zermatt is a unique ski town that is only serviced by a train to outside visitors, which means you don't have to worry about cars and street noise (except for the electric carts that furry people back and forth from hotels and taxi stops to train stations and restaurants). We pretty much stuck to walking through the city as it is rather compact and the weather was pleasant.

We skied every day from Sunday through Friday, usually starting with breakfast at 7:30am sharp (because that's when it opened and we couldn't possibly wait any longer), followed by getting our ski gear on and out to the train by 8:45am. (The train was the easiest way to reach the slopes, not necessarily the quickest...one could take a tram that climbed through the mountains to reach the ski area in about 10 minutes, but that required a 15 minute walk, or you could take a taxi to one of the other gondolas or cable cars, but that would require spending more money...so we stuck to the train). Susie's boyfriend Felix was the leader of the group which enabled us to not worry about whether or not we were about to ski off a cliff or into terrain only suited for the chamois (really just a mountain goat, but nevertheless we managed to see a few dozen of these guys). By the end of the week, Felix decided he had enough of constantly stopping to wait for the group so he went off on his own to finish his week on a strong note.

I tried to keep up, but I failed to have my skis tuned before we came to Switzerland so I wasn't as fast as I could have been (although to be honest I probably would have ran into something if I went much faster as I was already feeling out of control at times). Alli and her sister were usually right behind Felix and myself, with their dad and Judi coming shortly thereafter. We tried to ski from the moment we arrived on the mountain (usually 9:30ish) until 1 pm or 2pm to take advantage of the better skiing conditions in the morning, as well as to avoid the lunch rush. If there is a negative of Zermatt it has to be the cost of things...where else can two people spend 43 CHF on lunch and only have 2 brats, some hash browns, and a large Coke (ok, besides Disneyworld)? After sitting for lunch (which lasted anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours depending on soreness and day of the week), we would all ski until 4pm before trying to find our way back to the hotel for a jacuzzi, nap, and then dinner. So really a full day filled with a lot of exercise and good food.

For those that ski, the slopes were very nice...Zermatt is mostly intermediate (red slopes in Europe, blue in the U.S.) although I would say they are a little more difficult than most of the blues I have been on in the States. The few black runs (most difficult) were challenging, but not so much so that you pictured yourself being airlifted to the nearest hospital with a broken leg. The majority of the resort is serviced by high speed chairlifts, gondolas, and cable cars, although there are a few pull ropes, t-bars, and plate lifts (the kind that goes between your legs). In full disclosure I managed to fall off the plate lift after riding it for about 10 minutes (and maybe 2 minutes from the top), which due to the grade of the mountain required me to ski back down to the bottom (after overcoming the constant jeers from my skiing party) and reattempt the endeavor. Zermatt also is interesting as you can ski from Switzerland into Italy and vice versa (which we did twice). The Italian side (called Cervinia) seemed less alpine (less trees, yodelers, and no Ricola) but provided some of our more memorable runs. One just needs to be wary of the time and weather as not to get stuck there should the lifts back to Switzerland close down before you have made it back (apparently this happened to quite a few people on New Years, requiring a 6 hour bus ride all the way around the mountains to get back to their respective Swiss resorts as there is no direct route).

Shh! Alli's tired from six days of skiing, don't wake her up (she also managed to get a cold from her dad, for which she is very thankful)! I will provide details of our trip over the next few days, but for now I have to do laundry and clean up the apartment as we have more visitors coming this weekend.

We are spending the week in Zermatt skiing around the Matterhorn with Alli's family so there won't be any new posts until next week.  If you need to get in contact with us, we will be staying at the Hotel Simi.  Hopefully the snow will be epic, the fondue melty, and the jacuzzi bubbly...