A Well Kept Man

The Pantheon is truly one of the most intriguing and awesome buildings I have ever seen in my life...as an engineer, I think I am even more geeky about such a feat than the most ardent of admirers of architecture. This building was erected in 126 AD (almost 1900 years ago, which if you really think about it seems more like two millennia) after the first one caught fire and burned to the ground. The magnitude of this building may not seem all that impressive, until you get up close and personal with it (in case you are wondering, its likes include warm summer rains, gentle breezes, and sunshine while its dislikes include hammers, chisels, and fire). We had an audio tour (podcast for those under 30ish) that we downloaded to our iPod which was great in revealing some of the details of the building that would have otherwise been missed.

We are now 3 for 3 on trips to Italy and consuming gelato while in Italy. There is absolutely no excuse for someone to go to Italy without having at least one gelato (even those out there with lactose intolerance...). So here are pictures of us gorging ourselves on gelato (notice I have three flavors while my darling wife only has two...I wanted to make sure if we didn't stop again for gelato, that I had the best experience I could possibly have, and I did). The flavors on my cone in a pseudo Neopolitan style are Fragola (strawberry), Vanilla Creme (OMG...amazing!!!), and Black Passion (dark chocolate with raspberries). Alli just got chocolate and mint-chocolate chip (the green kind although the picture makes it look white...apparently the flash made it look kind white, which would explain why my luscious black hair also looks grey in some places....). If you are ever in Rome, do as the Romans do (or at least the tourists who may or may not be Roman) and get yourself over to the corner of Via delle Coppelle and Via della Maddelena to the Gelateria della Palma (kudos to our friend Jennifer and her husband Jeff for doing the grunt work of testing all of the gelaterias in Rome before our visit to afford us the best gelato experience).

I am not sure where to begin with writing about our long-weekend trip to Rome. The city truly lives up to its reputation in every way...I have spent the last several hours looking through pictures trying to figure out how to capture this trip with a few paragraphs and some pictures, but I think that no matter how hard I try it won't do it justice (at least in my mind). I think everyone has an experience that will truly stay with them for a long time, and I can honestly say that Rome has that effect on me (maybe it's in the water there, but this trip has me feeling the need to soliloquize and orate some sort of masterpiece blog that will truly stand the test of time...but who am I kidding, I will probably find a way to make some jokes and point out the things that made me laugh). Enjoy!

We are not in this weekend, as we will be in Rome trying to convince the Pope to convert to Lutheranism (my guess is that nobody has ever asked, and that he's probably just waiting for an invitation)!  If you need to find us, we will be staying at the Hotel Pace Elvezia, arriving Friday, February 27 in the evening and leaving Monday, March 2 in the morning.

Seriously, how does this thing not fall over?? I have always been suspect of the "lean" on the Tower of Pisa, that is until I ventured a look for myself. Let's just say that "Leaning" is a bit understated, that tower is in full tilt. Unfortunately I left my protractor in Minnesota, so I was unable to calculate the angle the Tower makes with the ground (it's safe to say that it is an acute angle...so for those currently in geometry, that means the angle is between which two values?)

I also didn't expect Pisa to be as touristy as it was...there was a throng of camera toting English speaking crazies. It seems the most popular thing to do in Pisa is try to think of something creative to do in a picture to make it look like you are causing the lean on the tower, or just enabling a behavior as a result of the tower's lean. I should have snapped a photo of all of the tourists and their various poses, but that would detract from the originality of my poses.

We also ventured inside the Duomo (my Italian isn't very good, I assume this means "House of God," or church for short) which was very unique. The church housed some neat paintings, the preserved remains of St. Ranieri (patron saint of Pisa), an awesome frescoed dome, as well as a gilded ceiling and the tomb of Henry VII (ooh, just one Henry short of the famed Henry VIII). We spent a few hours here in the Piazza of Miracles which also houses a couple other buildings which we didn't go into (a museum, a baptistery, and the cemetery...which I guess we kind of walked by but didn't exactly examine) before heading to Lucca in the afternoon (much cooler city by the way, less touristy, and more Italian). Pisa was also crawling with vendors hawking their goods, which ranged from "fine" leather purses to mechanitronic dogs that bark and do back flips (they also had designer knock-off sunglasses, porcelain plates, knick knacks, and souveniers). I wouldn't necessarily recommend going out of your way to visit Pisa, but if you are nearby (within an hour) it is worth a stopover.

We spent the long weekend (Friday - Tuesday) in Italy, staying near the coast on the northwestern side of Italy (we stayed in the area of La Spezia, near the Ligurian Sea...I thought it was the Mediterranean Sea, but then again I never really excelled at geography). Our first day was spent hiking in the Cinque Terre, which are a series of small towns perched along the coast of the sea and separated by about five hours of walking. You could take a train between the towns, but apparently exercising was a higher priority. The paths were very narrow and at times a bit precarious, but the views and experience was completely worth the salt crust that formed on my skin as a result of excessive perspiration (I thought for sure I would have to burn my clothes, but thankfully that wasn't the case).

Italy is such a beautiful place and this setting certainly lives up to the images I have conjured in my head. We also took advantage of being close to the sea with our food selection, sampling fresh anchovies (normally I would say ick, but I tried them here and they were amazing!) Also, fresh spaghetti with clams, grilled swordfish, pasta with fish (fish wasn't described, I'm guessing swordfish, but possibly something else), and the freshest calamari and shrimp breaded and fried. The sea was colder than I imagined it would be, but nevertheless I found time to put my legs in a few times.

The only negative aspect of this trip...driving (seriously, I should have learned from the last time, next time I am in Italy, it will be on a Mediterranean cruise with a port of call in Rome or something). I managed to high five a couple cars with my side view mirrors, no significant damage thankfully. I also seemed to find my way down the narrowest road known to man, only to find a dead end and then having to retrace my steps in reverse (did I mention the giant brick wall to my right and cavernous abyss to my left?). At one point, I crested a hill (in the dark, so cresting was unknown to be occurring) only to find the pitch of the road changed from a severely positive gradient to an extremely negative one (I felt like Starsky & Hutch hot on the tail of a bad guy, or maybe it was more Dukes of Hazzard...either way, the Jetta had some good hang time).

We had lots of gelato and pizza as well, so it was a great getaway with our friends Bethany and Andy. Tomorrow, I will regale you will tall tales of a leaning building...

Alli and I will be in Italy for the next five days (Cinque Terre, and maybe Pisa), so if you are looking for something to read, try somewhere else because I couldn't think of anything clever to write ahead of time (and I am late on packing so I have to go do that now).

If you must contact us, we will be at the following location:

B&B Podere Morucciola

Via Aurelia Nord, 133

19021, Arcola (SP)

+0039 0187 98 73 33

http://www.poderemorucciola.it/

"Prior to Positive Steriod Sample"
After leaving Turino on Sunday morning, we headed down towards (towards being the operative word) to go watch the end of the 15th Stage of this year's Tour de France. The finish line was in an Italian ski village, Prato Nevoso. We stopped briefly in Cuneo, another stop along the Tour (Cuneo will be the start of Tuesday's Stage 16) where we snapped some pics, walked around, and couldn't find lunch (everything is closed on Sundays in Europe, including McDonalds in some towns). We eventually got out of Cuneo and ate at a hotel along the way. It was at this point that Alli suddenly learned Italian and was able to successfully communicate with our waiter that I was a moron, but to bring me a Coke and some risotto anyway. Yes, they charge you for the bread on the table so unless you want to buy it, don't eat it.

It was a fairly easy drive with some pretty country-side scenery, winding through village after village until we made our way into a little town about 20km from the finish line. It was at this point that we realized that we would probably not be witnessing the finish of this stage.

At every possible point from this town on there were road blocks, police, and barriers preventing any automotive traffic from going to the finish. It appears that if we wanted to see the finish we would have had to arrive at least one day prior to the stage as our mere four hour cushion of time wasn't enough (or more likely there wasn't any room at the mountaintop judging by the reports from TV). Thus, we were forced to park our car and walk up a Grade 1 climb (the hardest with the exception of the hors catégorie climb which means (beyond classification). So you can see what we were up against 20km for the finish with three hours until the peloton arrived.

Needless to say we decided that walking 20km (or running for that matter) was out of the question so we walked about 6-8km (not exactly sure) up to a little town at a decent spot along the route that was relatively uphill (to provide better photography). After reaching our spot we waited for about 1.5-2 hours for the excitement to begin....

So now the croud is pumped. Mind you the riders are merely another half hour away. Occasionally you think the riders have made it until you realise it's just a Tour Wannabe who is trying to show us how awesome he is by making the climb slightly faster than I can walk. As the time approaches we can see helicopters coming up the mountain. There were eight. You could hear the helicopters before you could see them, causing further excitment and wonderment as you figured with each helicopter would come the riders. Finally the excitement peaked as the last helicopter slowly made it's way overhead and hovered while the motorcade of AP photographers, video guy strapped to the back of a motorcycle, police motorcycles and cars came wizzing by at quite a pace. Had I not had been taking photos one would have barely noticed the four real Tour de France leaders in the midst of all the craziness. These guys cruised up the mountain faster than I think I could ride down it. These guy's calf/thigh/abs of steel/Alli could comment on the buns/stamina was amazing. They had been riding for about 170km when they reached us, ~105 miles, through unbelievable climbs (which included 1800 meters of elevation gain over the first 60km climb to start the day, yea, that's over a mile) and yet still seemed to fly by.

My big moment was when the leaders came through and I yelled GO USA! (as did my wife) to the Team Garmin/Chipotle rider Danny Pate, who at the time looked like he was melting with the amount of perspiration running down his body. Hopefully the unexpected American supporters were enough to give him the energy to finish the climb (although I think he wound up 3rd on this stage).

It was probably about 5 minutes or so before the bulk of the riders came through...it was quite the site. Following them were cars with spare bikes, tires, water, more police, and then another 10 minutes later they bulk of the remainder of the riders. We walked back down after all the riders went by and decided we'd try to drive to the top. (Although at first I thought I lost my wallet and ran about a km back up the mountain where my wallet was not, which made me panic a bit, but after Alli settled me down and told me it was probably still in the car, we thankfully found it back in the car where I left it...I always lose stuff, it's a neverending battle. M: Where's my keys Alli??? A: Did you look in the door honey? M: Why would they be there? You must have moved them foul temptress! Fine, I'll look in the door...Thanks honey, found them! - And that's the story of how I lost argument number 8,389; current score Alli 8,387 - Mark 2)

What can I say about driving in Italy, except I STRONGLY discourage it. Take the train, take a bus, fly in and walk, but getting into a car and trying to navigate roundabouts in Italy is not for the faint of heart. Driving in Chicago is a treat compared to the white knuckled, Readiness Level 5, Terrorism watch Red alert that we experienced this weekend.

I knew we were in trouble when we got into the outskirts of Turino and proceeded into a roundabout. Before you think that maybe I'm just a bad driver, hear me out (and please don't talk to my wife, she's not very patient with my driving skills). Picture me going into the roundabout after carefully studying the traffic flow and patterns and such, as well as waiting for an opening that is ample in size to allow me to merge into the traffic circle. I give the car gas and no problems yet as I merge into the circle when all of the sudden a van comes flying into the circle from a different spoke at about 80 km/hr (the speed limit is maybe 50 km/hr in the circle) and nearly T-bones me. Thankfully nobody was hurt, damaged, crunched, impacted, etc., although I think I am no longer welcome back in that traffic circle.

Anyway, we are driving along following the directions of Susan, the lovely computer generated voice in our TomTom ( a lthough I had to turn her down because she says roundabout weird, she says "round-did-about-t"). When you select directions sometimes you can pick options like "avoid toll roads" or "fastest route". Well, when you pick "avoid toll roads" you might end up in the middle of the Saturday market where about 30,000 people are shopping for fruits, veggies, and gelato and somehow they still allow idiots like me to drive through.
In Italy, apparently a red light is more of an opportunity to show how creative you can be while freaking out foreigners. For example, let's say you are approaching an intersection with a dedicated left turn lane that is currently red (but doesn't have any cars in it) and you are in the adjacent lane which is currently green (and is full of cars going slightly slower than the posted speed limit). What do you do if you are an Italian at the end of the line of cars in the green lane?

A. Wait in line, you'll get there soon enough
B. Honk your horn at the people in front of you for not going fast enough
C. Put down your cigarette, finish your third shot of espresso since the last traffic circle, accelerate into the left turn lane, blow through the red light, merge over into the green line in the middle of the intersection hoping a space opens up for your Fiat, and then continue on as if nothing happened

If you guessed A, you are from Minnesota and have never been further away from the Cities than Duluth; B, you've driven in New York, LA, or Chicago, but certainly not Italy; C, well, that's what we saw so that's what I say Italians do all the time (seriously, this happened more often than not).

Quiz #2, pretend you and your Mama-cita have just finished grocery shopping at the market where the crazy American with Swiss license plates almost ran you over and you need to unload your 10 kilos of tomatoes and 5 kilos of ricotta (when you say kilos instead of pounds, it makes me think of watching a bunch of cops talk about the sting they are setting up in the abandoned warehouse down by the river). If you are Italian, what do you do?

A. Park your car in the nearest available parking space on the side of the road out of the flow of traffic
B. Park your car in front of your apartment, in the flow of traffic, with your blinker on indicating you have stopped
C. Park your car in the middle of the road
D. Drive halfway onto the curb, leaving the back-end of your car in traffic

Correct answer: B, C, and D are all correct choices.

As you can see from these limited examples, driving in Italy can be very interesting. Don't even get me started on the fact that within 20km there are 3 separate streets in Turino with the same name and same address (and yes, the third one was our hotel, after driving 10km to the first one, 15 back to the second, and 17 to third). Maybe it's best to leave driving in Italy to those who have had an espresso IV permanently attached.

Oh, and another thing, when crossing the border from Italy into Switzerland, make sure you read the signs. My Italian is rusty, but it seems the word ALTO means stop. Completely. Rolling stops are not advised (unless driving in Italy then they are suggested to protect your momentum).

The normally mild-mannered Swiss borders guards get a little testy when you kind of slow down and say "Bonsoir" and keep moving. It may be ok going the other way, but not from Italy into Switzerland. Example conversation we had with the Italian border guy as I kind of stopped but not really going into Italy: "Where are you going?" Turino. "Turino? Then where?" That's it, we're coming back tomorrow. "Um, ok, Arrivederci". (Apparently nobody goes just to Turino, so it required a follow up question...which we passed)

Example conversation with Swiss border guard after I finally stopped upon the specter of having to spend the rest of my life driving in Italy: Points to sign that says STOP in Italian and French. "Move your car over there." Intense waiting begins with me and Alli feeling like the Von Trapps in the Sound of Music figuring we could just make a run for the Alps. When he comes back about five minutes later, I have my plan figured out of how I'll open the door right as he approaches, knock him down, and speed off in my station wagon. Only before I can attempt my Jason Bourne impersonation on him he hands back our passports and tells us we are set to go (which he grabbed from my hand as I rolled through the stop sign ~ side note, don't think about outrunning the law when they have your identification and you wear white socks with running shoes, they'll find you!).